The 2010’s is the era of social media, mobile apps, geopolitical tensions, and keeping up with the Kardashians. If you were to compare the post 2010 era with the earlier times, it would seem like a completely different world. But there are of course a few things that never change, like love. And thanks to the modern day flamboyant social media and complementing applications, dating and relationships are at an altogether different level these days. To be really honest, the fun is taken out. All you need to do is poke the other person online and drop them a message. I mean, where did all the adventure go? Walking up to the girl, gathering the confidence to say something that would make her smile, where on Earth did those things vanish? A large share of the blame is definitely to be put on social media and innovative technology that allows you to check out guys or girls on the touch of a finger. But while all this ‘Tindering’ is going on, somewhere deep within we have forgotten the very essence of being in relationships. If not all, a majority of people no longer know how or have the patience to maintain a healthy relationship.
Well, it probably wouldn’t be entirely right to blame it completely on technology. Modern times have changed us as individuals as well. Cut throat competition, materialistic goals, ruthless ambitions have made us more like the machines, without emotions, without compassion, and in some cases without a conscience. And this clearly shows in today’s relationships which simply do not seem to last. One day you see people holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes and the other day you find out that they had already broken up. Can infidelity be blamed too? Of course, it can be. But to what extent? Relationships are way more complicated than they used to be. Thank you, Facebook. I for one know how complicated a relationship can get and what all follows after such a trauma.
I have, therefore, discussed the reasons why modern day relationships do not last long.
Two-minute noodles, 5-minute coffee, 6-minute abs, and similar crap. People are always in a hurry. People want to get to the damn end of the book without going through the best parts. And that is what is fundamentally wrong with relationships these days. Relationships are built on more substantial matters like mutual respect, love, trust, and belief. Relationships need nurturing too. If you think you can just term mere infatuation as love and enter a relationship, then you’ve got another one coming for you. And it isn’t going to be pretty. A relationship needs pillars to stand on. And these so called pillars need time to get erected. Modern day relationships have a higher failure rate because they are built on fugazi or nothingness. And you can’t build something as complex as a relationship on nothing. Go and get to know each other, know each other’s compatibility with each other, and know how the person is in terms intellectuality. If you do not know these things, the moment adversity hits you, you scatter and break down. Quality relationships need time. End of discussion. The faster you learn that, the better for you.
Human beings are known to take things for granted. That is how we are. And a similar pattern is seen in our relationships. We do hundreds of things when we have to impress the ‘other person’. We buy flowers, we cook their favorite food, we go on dates, we talk sweet things, we are romantic, and we even change ourselves, which is honestly the worst thing you can do in the early stages of a relationship but more on this later. The point is that as we progress in our relationship we tend to forget why we came into the relationship in the first place. And soon enough we start taking things for granted. We take every aspect of the relationship for granted. Be it the other person in it, be it the important dates, the romanticism or be it the lames jokes. As we dive deeper into this sea, the relationship only gets dryer and dryer. Dry things have a tendency to break and so dry relationships. You tell me, why would two people stick together when there is nothing to keep them together?
And by materialistic pleasures, I am referring to sex. I will be completely honest with you guys. Sex is a very essential part of a relationship. You can’t build a romantic relationship without sex. You just cannot. People who would like to argue against the statement are advised to be in a serious relationship first. Any romantic relationship will involve sex. Let’s keep it real guys. There is no hiding this fact. But the problem is that these days it is all about sex. It gets even worse when people pretend that it’s not but it actually is. Sex is a very important part, but it is not the entire thing. You cannot build a long lasting relationship solely on sexual desires. What happens when the sex runs out? What happens when sex isn’t that interesting anymore? The relationship crumbles. And that is exactly what happens to people these days. Sexual pleasure will last only so long, but love and respect for the significant other will last for as long as you can imagine.
Call it dishonestly, call it infidelity, call it anything you want. It is all the same. Most people in a relationship these days do not stay true to each other. They do not disclose important things to each other. But in reality, this is what plays a major role in bringing people together. Human beings are not meant for living in isolation. They just aren’t. Human beings are an interactive species. They interact, they communicate, and they express. This is the basic essence of being human. The moment you choose to not communicate with your other half, you are weakening your relationship. Communication is vital for every relationship, especially for a romantic one. Sharing things, stories, experiences, excruciating details about how your day was etc. are among the things that you need to do in order to stay close. It is a fact. Situations get worse when people become dishonest. This usually leads to infidelity which is a one-way road as there is no coming back from it.
Fear is the most unexpected entry in the list. A relationship is built with complete uncertainty and without any assurance of what is going to happen in the future. But we dive into the ocean of endless possibilities and uncertainty regardless and that too with a completely different person. Soon enough, the adversities hit us and we start to tremble. Before we know it, the relationship crumbles like a pile of saw dust. But why does this happen? The answer lies at the very beginning of the relationship. The very foundation on which the relationship was built was weak. We need to realize that uncertainties will always be there but remaining strong is what will get us through tougher times. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case in the majority of the relationships these days. The true strength of a relationship is only seen under pressure from adversities. And that can happen only if the people in that relationship let go of fear and remain strong.
These were the main reason which I thought were causing the massive breakups and divorces these days. Do let me know how you feel about it or if your views on this matter differ. In case you liked the article, give it a thumbs up and share it as much as you can.
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